Me: *Reading "Dead Aid" on the subway*
Woman beside me: Are you reading the bible?
Me: Does it look like the bible?
Woman beside me: Oh. No. Sorry..ummm, have you ever read the bible?
Me: Yes
Woman beside me: Why aren't you reading it now?
Me: Why aren't YOU reading it now? If you were, you wouldn't be bothering me, now would you?
Woman beside me: Uh, I have it here.
Me: Well open it up, I'm not stopping you from getting your god on.
Woman beside me: I was wondering, do you go to...
Me: NO I DON'T GO TO CHURCH, AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH. I WANT TO READ THIS BOOK. I WANT TO GET TO MY STOP. I WANT TO GET OFF THE TRAIN. I WANT YOU TO SHUT UP. I WANT YOU TO GET TO YOUR STOP. I WANT YOU TO GET OFF THE TRAIN WHEN YOU GET TO YOUR STOP. AND MOST OF ALL, I WANT YOU TO STOP TRYING TO SELL ME JESUS METH.
Woman beside me: If you don't believe in...
Me: YES, I AM GOING TO HELL. AT LEAST HELL DOES NOT HAVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU TRYING TO GET ME TO GIVE JESUS A BLUMPKIN. PLEASE SHUT UP. I AM READING AND YOU ARE INTERRUPTING ME.
Woman beside me: I....
Me: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
Woman beside me: I...
Me: I swear to motherfucking science I will stab you to death with whatever I can find in my bag that will make stabby motions. STEP OFF BITCH!
Woman beside me: *gets up and sits on the other end of the car*
Aug 23rd