I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU

2010

December

November

October

September

August

July

June

May

April

March

February

January 73

2009

December 333

November 360

October 157

September 30

August 70

July 208

June 186

May 346

April 1

March

February

January

(via Chia-Yi Lin) MORGAN TEPSIC’S ASS! WHAT’S...

Allow me to be serious? Just this once,...

My followers, if I may, please allow me to be serious for just one moment. I know my tumblr leans a...

I made this track while some of you were probably still sucking on titties for nutrition and not...

In the Bathroom

Me: *standing at urinal*
Cleaning lady: *upon entering* AHHHHH OHHHHH EEEEEEEE *runs out*
Me: YEAH THAT'S RIGHT BITCH! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!
Coworker: *enters* Hello.
Me: Sup. *I leave*
Cleaning lady waiting outside the bathroom: *Goes into the bathroom*
Me: *Goes back into the bathroom* YOU'LL COME IN HERE IF A KOREAN IS HERE, BUT IF A GOD DAMN DIRTY CANADIAN BASTARD IS IN HERE, YOU RUN FOR YOU LIFE. EH? EH? IS THAT HOW IT'S GOING TO BE? IS A FOREIGNER GONNA HAVE TO CUT THE HELP?
Cleaning lady: *runs out*
Coworker: Why do you have to be so gruff?
Me: Gruff? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? RUFF RUFF McGRUFF? WOOF WOOF WOOF!!!!!!!!!!
Coworker: Seriously man. Are you drunk?
Me: *runs out*

“CUT YOU, CUT YOU, BO-CUT YOU, BANANA-FANA-FO-CUT YOU,...”
— Sing sang sung in the...

@chiam: do you actually read before you...

(via rustycornbeef) I totally read this.

It is rather ironic that “growing up” was the...

Fucktard: Why do you smoke Japanese cigarettes?
Me: huh?
Fucktard: You know, they brutally colonized Korea. You shouldn't support them.
Me: They're made in Korea.
Fucktard: Doesn't matter.
Me: Listen up, are you a father?
Fucktard: Yes, I have two sons. They are in middle school.
Me: Do they play video games?
Fucktard: Yes. It's hard to get them to look away from their DS for even a second.
Me: You do realize that the DS is Japanese, right?
Fucktard: Yeah, but...
Me: YEAH SHUT YOUR NINTENFUCKING PREJUDICE-WHEN-ITS-CONVENIENT MOUTH. DO YOU FUCKING REALIZE HOW STUPID YOU SOUND? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I GET ALL LUPINE WOLF ON YOUR ASS.
Fucktard: How dare yo....
Me: BANZAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

via smokehard.com

via smokehard.com

This is a perfect example of a shitter you use ONLY IN A...

Tonight I am going to eat hwae (sashimi) with one of my coworkers. We are going to get shit faced...

astoryforsupper: Considering you’re a tumblr communist and you like everyone’s posts, who is your...

I think so/slow should shoot me a straight up email -> chiam @ chiamattt . com

You really have no idea how much shit was smoked when I made this back in 2000.

Man on subway: Hello.
Me: Ugh, hi.
Man on subway: You is native English person?
Me: *nod*
Man on subway: What is 'deez nuts' mean? My daughter says much.
Me: This is my stop, bye.

I'll fucking cut you?!

Me: like how your friend Chiam made the phrase I'll fucking kill you somewhat cool but when I said it in high school it didn't get me laid.
Morgan: It's not getting him laid either. Don't worry.
Chiam: WELL, WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? SOMEONE IS BEING A SMART ASS BEHIND MY MOTHERFUCKING BACK. NOW I WONDER, IS A MOFO GONNA HAVE TO BREAK OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING TAMBAE SHOTS? IS THAT WHERE ALL THIS SHIT IS GONNA END UP GOING?

If you’re happy I’m a whore Clap your hands. *Clap, Clap*. If you’re happy...

Morgan: You're getting spread around by being named a whore.
Chiam: GOOD
Morgan: Which means the legend of chiam will die soon.
Chiam: Where am I, a high school cafeteria?
Morgan: Whatev dude.
Chiam: Being a whore won't kill me. Neglecting content will. EAT MY WHORESHIT MR. JEALOUS!

“WHO IS BRUCE LEE?”
— My Wife

Asshole: Excuse me.
Me: Yes?
Asshole: What do you think you are doing?
Me: I am walking and taking pictures.
Asshole: What are you taking pictures of?
Me: *snap* I just took a picture of you motherfucker, now STEP THE FUCK OFF BEFORE I CUT YOU!

Dear God!! How Con’t You Are Never On TV?

koolikeplastic: but i don’t mind// I’M A...

“HAVE YOU ALL FORGOTTEN THAT MICHAEL JACKSON SEXUALLY ABUSED...”
— I WILL “not gonna shed...

lindsaykid: Do you take all these pictures? If there is no credit given, and it is clearly a...

“He is very smart but isn’t a man of respectable appearance....”
— Homework of _____, the wife...

“A citizen complained on the BOK’s website: “I...”
— The Korea Herald Hey citizen!...

“SYDNEY (Reuters) - The mystery of crop circles in poppy...”
— Reuters

He feeds those pigs dead people, and then he eats the pigs.

“나는 너희의 하나님이 망할 얼굴, 멍청아 똥!!!!!”
— It’s true.

I sit on the subway for a total of about two hours everyday....

ovarianmarion: you are retarded, and it’s kind of awesome. I am a bit retarded, and yeah, it really...

bagcoffee: FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIN!!

-cafelife-: :3. It’s cool seeing shots a friend took...

GLOBAL USE AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE Cannabis Cocaine Cannabis...

Yes, that’s me, and no, I don’t like superman...

30YearOldAmerican: Isn't what is happening in Iran really fucking terrible? How can those people live in such a repressive place?
Me: Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. Good thing your vote was counted in the last US election.
30YearOldAmerican: Oh, I couldn't vote.
Me: Why not?
30YearOldAmerican: I got caught smoking some erbz when I was 20 and I havn't been able to vote since. Won't be able to vote for the rest of my life.
Me: How can YOU live in such a repressive place?

“IRAN: THE HIPSTER “CAUSE” OF 2009.”
— I will “there are so...

Bold if you have...

katiemarr reblogged ...

“These [Korean] telecommunications companies always talk...”
— Will Apple’s iPhone Be...

“Canada has granted refugee status to a mentally ill South...”
— Mentally ill South...

Safety #1

Painting the exterior of a building is no job for someone who is afraid of heights. Nor is it a...

“SUPERCALACUTALISTICEXPIALAMOTHERFUCKUS! SWEAR TO GAWD!”

Answers Answered

areopagitica answered: ...

Can you name two things?

Can you guess two things I am going to eat for lunch? I am sure you can. If you can name more than...

“Seriously, I want to walk around Seoul with a motherfucking...”

xray idiots

According to the Korea Times, “A 39-year-old man was arrested for selling fake X-ray’...

“TV viewers and Internet users have attacked Kim and MBC over...”
— Actress Under Fire for Backing...

“My law partner came back from a trip to New York astonished...”
— Brendon Carr @ The...

Monday Ashtray

fatsy:(via pengdo) That is pretty fucking DOPE.

A Dream

I had a dream last night. It was short, but I woke up with what happened still clear in my mind....

Kimchi

As I alluded to earlier, my wife is in the godfucking hospital right now recovering from a nasty...

This is Monday Morning

“TOKYO (Reuters) - Many women taking the crowded train in...”
— Reuters LOL

ON MY DAY OFF, THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO WILL FUCKING CUT...

“HOLY FUCK YOU KEEP FOLLOWING AND UNFOLLOWING ME! WTF,...”
— Have no fear, I have not gone...

mumblingmynah:Martin Wilson Pretty fucking damn cool!

Friday Ashtray

“[O]ne of the main reasons Apple’s iPhone has not yet...”
— JoongAng Daily In a nation...

Thursday Ashtray

Regarding the Below Post:

Morgan: You blogged my name, not my fucking tumblr name
Chiam: Eat my shit for juking the stats motherfucker
Morgan: Whatever dude. I'm going to continue watching conan
Chiam: What is your tumblr name? inkorea? intaipei?
Chiam: Ima rectify this
Chiam: Oh what's this? I STILL FUCKING OWN (tumblr.com/trends?chiam&inkorea&intaipei)
Morgan: *crickets*
Chiam: Oh Morgan! If I can't hang out with you in real life and bother you until you froth at the mouth, my only recourse is to do it on tumblr! I know i'm pathetic, but you could always ditch the broad and come back to Korea! What do ya say?

Oh Morgan, that’s gotta hurt that ego of yours. Poor...

Open Letter to the Man Who Wore the Same...

Dear Asshole, Of course I have nothing against someone wearing the same shirt as me. I am fucking...

New Theme

Well do ya like it, punks? I god damn hacked and cut the motherfucking css to make this bitch even...

Ahmadinejad’s Photoshop skills (still) need some work

(via intaipei) Morgan is in fucking Taiwan. Sooky is in the...

“His conversation usually threatened and announced more than...”
— That’s probably what...

Open Letter to the Hospital

Dear Compassionate Motherfuckers, It is so reassuring that you are more worried about getting your...

AT THE MOTHERFUCKING CLINIC WAITING FOR MOTHERFUCKING SWINE FLU RESULTS VERDICT?...

Fake Tuesday Ashtray

I’m posting an empty ashtray because I was not at work on Tuesday. I was at the hospital, and...

Monday Ashtray

I WILL FUCKING CUT THOSE MOTHERFUCKING...

Sorry for the lack of posts. My wife has been really sick. Might be malaria. It’s Hepatitis A....

End of an Era

I said good bye in my own way; I deleted his name and number off of my phone.

“Confucious was right! I went to bed with an itchy ass, and I...”
— Chiam

Sexy Samurai underwear raging in Japan

Friday Ashtray

thepillows:heyyoshimi: Voltron Star Shooter (via John...

Open Letter to you Inconsiderate...

To whom it may concern: I woke up in a great mood today. My commute was pretty stress-free, and the...

Thursday Ashtray

In the Stairwell

Me: Isn't it a beautiful day outside today?
Coworker: Is it?
Me: Ugh yes?
Coworker: *looks through window* Oh, yes it is.
Me: Did you sleep here overnight?
Coworker: No? Why would I do that?
Me: Well if you left your motherfucking house and came to work, how could you not fucking see that it is a beautiful day outside? Are you fucking stupid?
Coworker: Excuse me, I have a PhD.
Me: A PhD in what? Retardation?

Seasonal mosquito confict has begun.

정정당당한 신문 한국일보 Hi, I am an electric police car. I...

“I care about facebook about as much as I care about shit...”
— Chiam Re: The Future of...

my new hat (via SMOKEHARD)

Wednesday Ashtray?

I’m not sure what disturbs me more - the flower petals or “ER” written with...

“I’m going to basically miss one person and his wife. Chiam....”
— Morgan Tepsic. I’d like...

“I am very skeptical of the iPhone’s success in Korea,” said...”
— JoongAng Daily HI, MY NAME IS...

Tuesday Ashtray

So Many Levels

<o> this story is disturbing on so many levels <o> 1. you were jerking to a clothed...

Monday Ashtray

coworker: OMG are you flossing your teeth at your desk?
me: Yes.
coworker: You know, that's really gross!!!
me: Is it more gross than you sitting at your desk clipping your finger and toe nails?
coworker: That's ok, but flossing is really gross.
me: So clipping your stank ass toenails is aight, but flossing is taboo?
coworker: That is absolutely correct.
me: That really makes no sense to me whatsoever. Flossing doesn't even make any noise, but when you clip your nails, everyone can hear you doing it. I fail to understand your logic.
coworker: That's just the way it is in Korea.
me: OK, I have had enough of your shit. go back to your MOTHERFUCKING cube right now, or I'm gonna fucking strangle your toe clipping ass with my floss just as soon as I get this motherfucking piece of motherfucking chicken out from between my motherfucking mollers! HOOTY HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crips And Bloods: Made In America

This documentary was 10% interesting, if that much. It failed miserably at providing any real...

Love in an Elevator

My Bus Card

Friday Ashtray

“A survey has revealed that people act and think differently...”
— The Chosun Ilbo

(via undefiinedd) OH HAI “UNDEFIINEDD”. THANKS...

“Canada has been asked to admit some of the 17 Uighur...”
— CBC Yeah, because being held...

NOCUT FRIDAY

This morning was a morning like few have been in recent memory. I didn’t once think about...

here to make you some fucking cho bop

ZOMFG! ! ! ! !!

I AM SOFA KING EXCITED TO SEE MY WIFE TOMORROW!!!! IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS!!!!! Top six things I...

Thursday Ashtray

Holy Fuck! Is it only 4:09pm?

Orakull - instututionalized …and then they just got shot!!!

coworker: you know, smoking is bad for you.
me: seriously?
coworker: yes, you are going to get cancer.
me: not until im old and useless.
coworker: i hate it when people smoke near me, and you are smoking right now.
me: i hate it when nonsmokers hang out in smoking areas. i'm on the fucking roof. what the fuck are you doing here?
coworker: i'm praying.
me: holy mother of fuck you just answered that question about as wrong as you ever could.
coworker: what?
me: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO PRAY IN A NON-SMOKING PRAY SPOT MOTHERFUCKER. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I WANT TO CUT YOU RIGHT NOW. CUT YOU AND THROW YOU OFF THE FUCKING ROOF. UGH!!! FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“CONAKRY (Reuters) - Guinean citizens should burn any armed...”
— Reuters

What show?

“HOLY MOTHER OF GARFIELD THERE IS A COPIOUS NUMBER OF...”
— (here there fried rice)

Wednesday Ashtray

Tuesday Ashtray

Midnight: Shouldn't you be asleep?
Me: Yes, I should, but due to my wife being on a business trip, I can't sleep because I have gotten quite fond of spooning myself to sleep.
Seven AM: Shouldn't you be awake?
Me: Yes, I should, but due to not being able to fall asleep until motherfucking three AM, I am grumpy and tired.
Toilet: Shouldn't you be leaving for work?
Me: Yes, I should, but I ate far too much yogurt last night, and now I have the pissy poos.
Subway Station 1: Finally! You're here!
Me: Yes, where is your bathroom?
Subway Station 2: What the fuck are you getting off here for?
Me: Tell me where the bathroom is or I am going to fucking cut you.
Subway Station 3: ...
Me: UGH!!!! Bathroom! Now!
Destination Station: ZOMFG YOU ARE SO LATE!!!
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP! I KNOW I'M LATE!! EAT MY WATER SHIT MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Monday Ashtray

Remember this movie? I do. It fucking RAWKED!

inkorea: Chiam and Sooky ALL HAIL THE WIFE OF CHIAM. IF YOU...

Have you seen this cat, because it’s fucking awesome

We’re fucking institutional art motherfuckers